Not Now, Not Near: Waiting with Joy during Advent in the Atrium

Victoria Roth

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I see him, though not now; I observe him, though not near: A star shall advance from Jacob, and a scepter shall rise from Israel.

Numbers 24:17

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Advent has always been my favorite time of year in the atrium. The purple cloth on the prayer table, the lighting of each new candle on the wreath. The children’s excitement for Christmas, reminding one another that the holiday is really about Jesus’ birthday, and it isn’t here quite yet. 

I see him, though not now; I observe him, though not near.

When? Where? These questions echo in the air around me as I sit and wait. 

Not now…not near.

I recently watched a clip of a conversation between Father Mike Schmitz and Bishop Robert Barron. They were pondering a phenomenon that I think many have experienced: Christmas Eve often feels better than Christmas Day in some way. The “big day” comes, and it feels like something is missing. “Christmas Eve,” Bishop Barron says, “speaks more to this life than Christmas Day, because what we want…we can’t see it clearly.”

Not now…not near.

When I began my level two formation this October, the expanded presentation of the Star and Scepter Prophecy was the thing that struck me most profoundly. The level one presentation includes only the second half of the verse, focusing on the images of the star and the scepter, and what those images might tell us about who or what the promised gift might be. But the expanded meditation includes the first half of the verse as well, considering Christ’s coming in time and space.

And indeed, not merely in time and space, but also outside of it! For Christ did enter the world at a certain time and a certain place, but for us—today—that time is not now, and that place is not near. Thousands of years later, we find ourselves in the same position as the ancient people and prophets. We, like them, are waiting, and though Christmas Day will come and go, we will be waiting all our lives.

“There’s something painful about it,” Bishop Barron reflects towards the end of the video. Anticipation of something near at hand gives way to longing for something far off when we recall that the thing we have been waiting for is not fully here. Yet that longing, though it can feel intense and painful, is good. It keeps us oriented toward the object of our desire: towards God, and toward Parousia, that time when Christ will come again and He will be all in all.

This is why Bishop Barron says that Christmas Eve speaks more to this earthly life than Christmas Day, and why Advent is my favorite time of year in the atrium. While we wait and prepare for something that is coming, there is so much joy. In these few brief weeks, we enter into a way of living with which we ought to live our whole lives. The anticipation that will only be satisfied when our earthly life is done, the longing for something we can see in part but not fully grasp: this is not only Advent, it is the essence of Christian life.

As we enter this third week of Advent—this week for joy—let us embody the joyful anticipation that characterizes those who follow the Good Shepherd and long for the fullness of His Kingdom. And may our own waiting and seeking make us greater servants to the children we accompany.

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Victoria Roth is a catechist in the Diocese of Spokane, Washington and a member of the Our Lady of Good Help CGS board. She is level one certified and serves as Coordinator of CGS and a lead catechist in the St. Nicholas Atrium at St. Mary’s Catholic School in Spokane Valley. She also serves as a level two assistant at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Lourdes in Spokane.